Well here I am, 17 months after said Stroke, I feel almost useful again. I have about a 10% to 11% where I am not really here. Where am I? Who knows? A pleasant raptor takes me, maybe it is just Puccini taking me for a walk. I now what I have to do. And am making an effort to do it. But sometimes I just want to sit on the beach and be done with with it. Lessoning to my itunes, staring out at the waves. I have to feel this has something to do with my Prozac. Once I am off of it I think I shall be better. We shall see, if I go off the deep end again there will be Prozac for me again. Rose/Kim wants me to be well. Savannah and Dylan thinks I am well.
I started meditation. About a month into it. It is groovy. I sit in the morning, before everyone else is up. Sometimes it is just me going "Inhale and Exhale" a blissful wash takes me. Sometimes work comes up. And then I "Inhale and Exhale" and peace goes with me.
It is odd for me, I read the news papers, and Wired and Rolling Stone, the Google News, and for the most part things stick with me. With a book it is odd. I can read a book. But who cares? I read up till 1/4 of the book, and then it goes away. I need to read again. Again I have to think it is the Prozac. I can read. I want to read. I read before the Prozac. We shall see, we shall see....
It is interesting to me, how things have changed. I am better off now? What I was before the stroke and after the stroke are two different beings. One is me hot headed about work and wanting to make a differece. Now I just go to work, call it eight hours, and go home again. It is getting better, but it takes time. I mean when I thought about about this, I just go every week day, and make the best of it. It is all I can do.
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