Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Church Of The Inspirational Rattlesnake : Aug 3, 2006






The routine is mostly the same, except when punctuated by travel, illness or sloth. Monday through Friday I rise from a few to 30 minutes before Starbucks at Five Points Plaza opens at 5 in the morning. Natural body functions ensue in a orderly fashion if I am lucky. By exactly 5 AM I am walking from my car to the coffee shop door. 345 out of 365 times I ask for a simple Dopieo ( two freshly pulled shots of expresso in a short cup) all other times I ask for a Triple Soy Latte in a short cup. One out of perhaps twelve times I get a blueberry scone as well. One third of the time I get a bottle of water or a small orange juice. By 5:16 to no later than 5:25
I am scrolling through the numbers on the cell, counting to fifteen as I look at the road and not the readout from the bottom of the list. Ron picks up within 2 to 4 rings for the most part.
If it is cold out he might answer with:
“Ice House.”
My response is mostly the same no matter what,
“White car approaching.”
This statement was modified from the original:
“White truck approaching”
only a short while ago when the truck ceased to function and an 8 year old four door sedan was purchased.


I park the white car across the street from Ron’s for the most part, except on Sundays. If the sky is clear I often take this time to observe the stars over head and engage in a few knees straight, knuckle dragging leg stretch’s. If the morning paper has been delivered early I will take it to the front door and push it through the mail slot. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays Ron emerges from the house with one dog on a leash. He keeps a mental record of which of his five Jack Russell's is due for the treat of a pre dawn adventure. On Thursdays two dogs are selected and I take the leash of one as we head out on the hike. Some might call it a walk, but I equate a walk with a more easier paced effort. The weekday jaunts are 2.3 mile affairs that we hoof in about 39 to 42 minutes depending on how often the dogs might wish to stop an or how awake we are. One mile of the effort is steeply up hill and takes us past the local water processing plant and the Jesusita trail head. What ever you want to name it, it gets the blood going and the brain processing. Ron is a sales manager, he often give me a short replay of the previous days toil. Which sales person is doing well, who is tanking, how the numbers for the week are stacking up. We talk about work, what we cooked for dinner the previous evening, how are families are doing. By the time we are back at his house the sun is mostly up.
Sundays are unquestionably genuine hike days. We start an hour later and 90% of the time head over to Tunnel Road Train Head which affords us 5 or 6 various routes to cover. My same coffee ritual applies to Sunday. It is customary for us to head up hill for at least 75 minutes before pausing to take in the view, gulp down a bottle of water, and head back to the car.
Four or Five times a year we get ambitious and do a longer hike. Up to seven to eight miles instead of the average five. One of our favorites is what we call the “Rattle Creek Connector” Starting at Rattle Snake Canyon we head up to the” Connector” and climb up and along the ridge back to the right fork of the Tunnel Trail. We park a car at both ends of the trip and shuttle back to the start point.
There are dozens of other parishioners in the Church of the Inspirational Rattle Snake. We see the same faces, the same dogs breaking trail ahead of their people week end after week end.
Not many of us have the nerve for the early mass, but it is the best one if you ask me. The cool of morning is well with you till at least the turn around point. The trail cows on their mountain bikes are few at this hour. Most Sundays we return to the white car with a good amount of sweat dripping from our persons and a renewed bit of thankfulness for just being alive. As practicing atheists and card holding members of curmudgeons anonymous The Church of the Inspirational Rattle Snake puffs out our empty spiritual balloons with a trinity of Trail, Sky and Steady Incline.
We’ve been doing this routine for three of four years now, or some version of it. We field a fare number of new member inquiries but most are put off by the early start time. No one seems to understand that early hiker gets the best pew with a view

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