To weather...

Avast ye fool hardy Pete's! I am alive again for no matter what you say. Under the couch, under the ribbon I take what your given. I gave and I gave and I gave to no matter, no mast, no ploy. I beseech you to take what you have to offer. What you have to offer me? Awash in it. I am damned! Damned for my soul. Bequest ya for, for a squeaking little tile to wash and be washed in it to be sure.

How did I do it, I was here, and in that I caught what I could and in the dreaming of the dream they liked it. There had been no one here before it. Where was I, I was here with the bubbles started coming and coming and come to with thee. To be sure I did it and my carotid did it all. One moment I was there the next moment I was gone with my bubbles at my bubbles for my bubbles all the way to hospital.

Of my love of the halo ended player to be wanted.

Dearest my dearest my want to be my whole hearted my bubbles. Why hath you forsaken me? Do you not here my please? Can you want

something I have not given you? Are my harbors to significant. My paltry won tons not heavy enough for you? I understand you want what you want, some dibble, some lotion, some razor chips it bequeaths you. I understand. I understand. What drizzle I understand, I need your come-up-once, to play the way you play. You're being suggest this into what I no to me true. In to that I can money lend you, to trouble to want to money money lend you! I have no course of action to take. To take my longing. I beseech you to no avail.

Honey drips for your orfeus, it leaks, it want you to be real, to taste it, to feel it, to real it. You want to be real. To real. I can bequeath you, it is the monday, the tuesday, the wendsday on and on it goes the one day I want you to have it. We figure it to be unrequested.

And you alone can make it last, a day, a week for ever and ever. To say what is unreal, unwinding, un un un. The say it can be only thus. Your tube. Your erective. Your fug hole for my tun. Your being, wanting, to real to my forsaking. I find your wholly can you see it? Can you touch it? No, no never. We see you as you already are. To take it behind a pulled curtain. To want it like none other than.

You can take it in your tung. Your effectiveness. Your dreams. I can hold it thus. Thus is mine. Mine. Do you want it to me yours? I will give it to you. My thoughts, my actions thus thus thusly for us. In my friend, my pozole, my poseque, my POS. We wait, we wait for a positive reaction to my heart. We wait for a plant operator selection system. We wait. Can we do it? Can my heart take it? My bubbles?

This is what I must do, I take my bubbles to the extreme of the extreme to wait for it. Dearest my dearest my want to be my whole hearted my bubbles. To unsuit you.To unzipped me. To wragle my boot straps. To whom it may concearn I leave my body untrue to you. Can it be what I think it might me, a wiggle and a tickle and best? Aye the best! Dodging the staringly glassy eye of countenance.

Can you be with it? Behind a pulled curtain. Can you take it thus? Can you take it thus for me to be you for you to be me. Allowence for the skipper. True. True that! Any allowence be ture to your upkeep, your allowence be true to you. When I come up to your pale green curtain I can sence you. Pale green like a bodice. And behold your fitted lenghly stares, you come up, come down, come down. Can you taste me then? Can I taste you? When we wage a war within our confines, a legthy battle, a truce, a ure. Our feelies going to grips, our tonque feelies too. All of you I want in me. In me I want all of you. For some money takes what it takes. Are feeling being with us with us us us. In this moment I can just what I just what I feel for you in always something. Some thing. Some thing you can not mention. A buzz I can not feel, a buzz I can not wait, a buzz I an note longer feel the waiting to be it.

Hath you of your love requested thusly.

Prozac

I recall everything.

I recall nothing.

Which is it?

More and more I recall everything with moments of nothing.

I guess I should be grateful not to do this when I am 68. I am 48. I went under the Stroke at Feb 2nd 2007, I was 46. I mean good dog! At 68 I would be washed up, better give me a grave and sit me in it.

Ok, so I have plaque coursing through my veins. I suppose I got this from Bill, my father. I got the Blood Pressures from Joan, my mother. Neither of my siblings have this, not Nick at 62, not Steve at 60, not Dave at 55. Go figure! All of them, other that Steve, have got Lipitor from there Doc. I to have this and :

Lovastatin

Nasasin

Diovan

Aspirin

Prozac

Everything but the Prozac I needed for my Elevated BP and my Cholesterol.

The Prozac I got from the Stroke.

My lingo went south, it was fried.

I felt OK for around eight months, then I started down the long road of depression, I could not help it. I had the "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class" Which means, nothing would work for me. Unless I started on the Prozac.

Prozac in popular culture

Because of its wide appeal as a popular anti-depressant, Prozac has had numerous references to it in popular culture, including many books, movies, and songs. The autobiographical book Prozac Nation was authored in 1994 by Elizabeth Wurtzel; it was turned into a movie of the same name, Prozac Nation, in 2001, starring Christina Ricci. A 1993 book, Listening to Prozac, was a generally critical look at Prozac and its side effects. Another book, Talking Back to Prozac, also focuses on Prozac side effects.

Vanilla Ice has a song called "Prozac." After having the drug prescribed for her, Cheryl Wheeler wrote and recorded a song called, "Is It Peace, Or Is It Prozac?" The British band Killing Joke has a song called "Prozac People." Rap artist Jay-Z makes reference to Prozac in his song "Nigga What, Nigga Who."

Bowling For Soup refer to Prozac in the line "one Prozac a day" in the song "1985".

A famous French record label called "Pro-Zak Trax" was created in 1994, possibly earlier. Their music style is mostly deep house music.

Prozac helped me.

It got my Brain firing again.

So it was the stroke which brought on the Prozac. I was happy long before the stroke. And will be happy again after the Prozac is done.

Now it is the blasé I feel from time to time, that and the Akathisisa ("constant pacing, purposeless movements of the feet and legs, and marked anxiety,") and the sexual dysfunction ( I am libido less.) I can take all these things for the lingo. Let me tell you about that.

You can see the languages center of by Brain was fried. Now I recalled everything, I could not make since from it, but I recalled everything. If that is to be understood. I new Kim ( my wife ), Dylan (my son) and Savannah (my daughter), everything about them. But as it was I could witness each thing they did. And lingo-wise I could not put the picture together, I could see them , lets say reading from a book. After they were done with it. I could not recall a single thing. I new it - but I didn't know it. So after 18 months of this, 18 months! This is about 5% of my Adult Life. 18 months of this I can read : Wired, Rolling Stone, News Papers, Google News etc. It is getting better. Now the books, the books I use to read in an afternoon, the books just leave me, well, who cares! And the movies I use to watch, who cares! It is funny I can watch funny stuff, Knocked Out gives me a roll each time. I went to see Wanted with Kim, and was floored when she came out of it raving about it. Huh? Raving about it? It was for all the glamour and style that went in to Wanted, I was left with nothing, I saw it, experienced it, my did not "take in" any of it.

EL Strokism

Well here I am, 17 months after said Stroke, I feel almost useful again. I have about a 10% to 11% where I am not really here. Where am I? Who knows? A pleasant raptor takes me, maybe it is just Puccini taking me for a walk. I now what I have to do. And am making an effort to do it. But sometimes I just want to sit on the beach and be done with with it. Lessoning to my itunes, staring out at the waves. I have to feel this has something to do with my Prozac. Once I am off of it I think I shall be better. We shall see, if I go off the deep end again there will be Prozac for me again. Rose/Kim wants me to be well. Savannah and Dylan thinks I am well.

I started meditation. About a month into it. It is groovy. I sit in the morning, before everyone else is up. Sometimes it is just me going "Inhale and Exhale" a blissful wash takes me. Sometimes work comes up. And then I "Inhale and Exhale" and peace goes with me.

It is odd for me, I read the news papers, and Wired and Rolling Stone, the Google News, and for the most part things stick with me. With a book it is odd. I can read a book. But who cares? I read up till 1/4 of the book, and then it goes away. I need to read again. Again I have to think it is the Prozac. I can read. I want to read. I read before the Prozac. We shall see, we shall see....

It is interesting to me, how things have changed. I am better off now? What I was before the stroke and after the stroke are two different beings. One is me hot headed about work and wanting to make a differece. Now I just go to work, call it eight hours, and go home again. It is getting better, but it takes time. I mean when I thought about about this, I just go every week day, and make the best of it. It is all I can do.

No time like the present....

Present day

Present hour

Present moment

Present second

Present Present